In Case Some Of You Are Wondering Who The Best Is

In an effort to stop the senseless violence and destruction of our planet, Jeebus has bestowed upon me the brave task of working out once and for all what the 10 best songs of all time are*. It is hoped that with the unveiling of this list all war will cease, the global economy can recover and teenagers can be a happy lot once more.

Have you noticed them lately? They seem to be a sad bunch what with their 'woe is me' music and their moody vampire novels. Anyway, it will all be a thing of the past once they take a butchers at these classic tunes. The fact they are all from the 80s is pure coincidence and proof that music peaked two decades ago:

(In chronological order)

1. Somebody's Baby - Jackson Browne
2. Wouldn't It Be Good - Nik Kershaw
3. Out Of Touch - Hall & Oates
4. I Can Dream About You - Dan Hartman
5. Invisible Touch - Genesis
6. Stuck With You - Huey Lewis & The News
7. Higher Love - Steve Winwood
8. Live It Up - Mental As Anything
9. Love Changes (Everything) - Climie Fisher
10. King Of Wishful Thinking - Go West

*Apologies to Starship

Three songs beat as one: Exhibit A

1978:


1988:


2009:

Postcards From The Southern Culture

If New York was 5th gear heading into overdrive then I experienced significant whiplash when I landed in Little Rock, Arkansas.

I couldn't think of a better way to end my trip than to spend a week in the South, taking in the endless fields of green, good food, great beers and a healthy dose of music.

The first few days were spent at Robyn and Dan's lake house in Hot Springs Village and it gave me a chance to unwind, eat a home cooked meal (Robyn cooked me Maltese food!) and catch up with some life long friends.

Between boat rides on the lake and catfishin' we visited the quaint town of Hot Springs (home of the Gangster Museum and erm Hot Springs) and Little Rock where we checked out the Clinton Presidential Library. Because Dan has a passing resemblance for Bubba, there were a few double takes at the Library which was a bit of fun.

We then loaded up for the RV trip to Memphis and Nashville across the state lines in Tennessee. The journey itself is great fun with Mel the Labrador jockying for a good spot in the RV and the three of us playing 'Pick the Artist' as we flicked through the radio stations.

Let me say off the bat I did not visit Graceland. While that will shock and disgust some of you I am not disappointed in giving it a pass. There is more than enough to do in Memphis that doesn't involve seeing the home of Elvis.

Besides if I wanted to see a monument to garish opulence belonging to a king then I could have visited one of the many churches that litter the bible belt.

Memphis is a fun town, especially Beale Street and its cool bars full of live Blues and Soul music. BBQ meats are a tradition and a trip to Memphis isn't complete without a plate of ribs and hot wings with a cold beer.

Sun Studios was a blast and I was just as excited to see the place where Elvis and Johnny Cash and Jerry Lee got their start as I was to see the tiny studio where U2 recorded Angel of Harlem.

Also a must is the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated. Because the exterior looks pretty much like it did in the late 60s then we were prepared for a fairly simple tribute to the great man.

Looks can be deceiving and we were treated to a stunning historical journey of the civil rights movement from the time the slaves arrived to King's death and beyond. Well laid out and presented, it probably stole the show on this little trip.

Presented with a timing issue we had to make a decision whether to visit the Smithsonian Rock and Soul Museum or the Stax Museum. As much as I adore the music from the Stax Label, the Rock and Soul Museum would give us a more complete look at the sounds of Memphis so we went with that.

Nashville was our second stop (another 3 hours East) where I was to get more than my fill of country music. Like Beale Street in Memphis, Nashville has Broadway which is wall to wall Honky Tonk Bars where the people that play on stage also work behind the bar and they work solely on tips. It is here that the bright young things try and get there start and to one day play on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry.

They have a tradition in Nashville called the 'Holler n Swaller' which was mandatory participation. If you were ever involved in the 'drink for drinkies' club back home on the Gold Coast you would get the concept.

We were fortunate that their were no acts performing at the grand Ryman Auditorium that night so we were able to take a back stage tour.

The Ryman was the original home of the Grand Ole Opry until 1974 where it lay abandoned for two decades before being restored and open to music of all genres (Counting Crows and Michael Franti were playing there in a few days time). You get the feeling you are in a church and that is because that is what it was at the end of the 19th Century.

Speaking of churches, there was a Pentecostal Convention in town and you could tell by what people were wearing who was going to the convention and who wanted to hear some down and dirty country music.

The country music hall of fame was an essential stop on the trip but the additional RCA Studio B tour was the highlight. The home of a 1000 top ten hits by the Everly Brothers, Elvis, Roy and Dolly etc. Studio B gave a great insight into the pioneering of the Nashville Sound where they transformed country to appeal to a pop audience.

The final night of trip was a visit to the Grand Ole Opry itself. A twice weekly radio show that has been broadcasting since the 1920s, the Opry is a country music institution and a heck of a lot of fun. Though you know in advance who is performing, they will often have a superstar drop by to sing a song or two.

Our only shock of the night was that legend Charley Pride had hit the bottle before going on stage. Or at least that is what it looked like. Mr Pride, if you weren't drunk then I sincerely apologise.

So I am in the RV heading west for a good sleep and a trip to the airport and finally home. I have one last stop in LA for a few hours where I will catch up with my friend Rachael (Roach if you are reading this then put the beers on ice!) then it is back to Melbourne and reality.

This past week has been a blast (thanks so much Dan & Robyn) and the whole month away has been unbelievable. I go home with a backpack full of life long memories and a recharge of the batteries.

Exactly what a holiday should be.

Reasons why I am a cynic #12

#12

Never trust a company that produces a Universal RV Flag Kit with only one type of flag on offer. It's not really universal is it?

Reasons why I am a cynic #48

#48
Never dine in a restaurant that calls itself Snacky's. I don't care if they are in Little Italy or not.

Reasons why I am a cynic #274

#274

I do not trust any company that makes life preservers when that company is based in a land locked state.

6 days in the city of blinding lights: Day 6

Day 6 -

Aside from my failed return trip to Harlem (see Day 5), I have two things to accomplish today.

The main one being to tackle Central Park. Now I say tackle but you could spend a few days alone in this place and still leave wanting more.

Knowing this from the outset I decide to at least walk its length (59th St to 110th St) and see what I see along the way taking different paths as the mood took me.

It truly is a class leveller and the best gift a city can ever give to its citizens. The place is just as busy as midtown but in place of skyscrapers are endless trees and old bridges.

There are bridle trails, designated running and cycle tracks and numerous baseball fields dotted about the thick foliage and waterways.

In the middle is the great lawn that has seen memorable concerts. On this stunning Saturday all that can be seen are New Yorkers sunbathing and shonky ice cream vendors making a small fortune.

Nearby are a set of Basketball courts where you can witness grown men acting like petulant children as they argue the toss over a foul. They had me entertained for a fair while with their bravado and their ability to 'draw a foul' from seemingly nowhere.

Having completed the length of the park, I treat myself to a short subway trip back to 81st St and visit the American Museum of Natural History. I knew this was a doomed visit when the queue to get in took forever.

I never cared a great deal for Science and Natural History in High School and I could see why. I was bored after an hour and was now questioning my decision to come here in the first place. It was either this or the Metropolitan Museum of Art and I could see those smug bastards across the park on the Upper East Side telling me I told you so.

Early evening I finally take the Staten Island Ferry (something I was going to do on my first day but I ran out of time) and am glad to see a borough other than Manhattan.

Staten Island seems a little more relaxed, given its seaside nature. I find a nice down home bar that has a half open aired section that reminds me of a Mexican Cantina. The Pale Ale goes down a treat as the sun sets on the day and my New York trip.

Next stop will be the Johnson Lakehouse Resort in Arkansas and my week in the South. Blues, Country, Elvis and cookouts.

Bring it on!